Weir Losing It: The Ties that Bind

My 17 year old son had a big first last night.
He got his first tattoo. This came as no surprise to us, as he had our permission - something, thankfully for a lot of parents, that is required by the state for minors.
He started planning when he was 2 and drew all over himself. He graduated to gum machine tats and then the spray on kind that the nail place at our local mall creates. When he was 15 we told him when he was 16, the legal age at which a minor can get one even with parental consent, he could get one for his birthday.
He is just 4 months shy of 18 and he finally decided. And, if I can figure out how to download it, you'll see a tattoo he created of an anchor with a ribbon through it with the dates of his grandfather's life. He loved his grandfather and was devestated when he died. Since he was 12, he's planned for this tattoo - he just wasn't quite sure if what type of anchor he wanted. Till, one day, last summer, he drew it out himself.
I'm going to take heat from assorted in-laws and out-laws and friends. I may even be asked what type of mother allows this.
Well, I'll tell you - my son, this son, has always marched to the beat of a different drummer. This is a choice made, not off the cuff, but was years in coming.
He asked me prior, what do you think grandpa would say if I got this tattoo (with the anchor). To be honest, I think he would be grateful that his grandson, this grandson, who marches to the beat of a different drummer, thought to honor him in such a permanent public way.
I get kind of weepy, you know, thinking... 4 months ... an adult. But, I think he'll be fine.

Weir Losing It: Holding On

Let me explain.
I am letting go of things that I have worn like a second skin sometimes more often than not. And I've let these things, depending on how the day went, eat at me.
Sometimes it's OK to go back and wonder "What if?" I'm not talking about those place.
I'm talking about the places that weren't so good that some hold on to and refuse to let go.
Sometimes we don't realize we are hanging on to anything till we have a bad day, or something reminds us, and we start to feel a bit unnerved.
Sometimes we refuse to let go because it gives us a reason: reason to eat, reason to drink, reason to drug, reason to do whatever it is we do that we think medicates us. What we think makes us feel better.
So - I refuse to hold on anymore to school mates that made me feel bad about myself. Yea, it wasn't nice. Yea, it could have been handled differently, but yea, we were kids. And I highly doubt that any of them would be the same to me today. Good-bye, so long, see ya.
Also going going gone are regrets over jobs left and jobs not gotten. Because, I have a great job now with a great company. I don't need to look back on those times with anything other than that they were learning experiences.
And you know there are things we hold onto that are concrete that can put us in a tailspin. I thought of that yesterday when I threw out a few older Christmas decorations that were my mom's. I hesitated for half a minute before I pitched them. She doesn't need them (she's deceased), I don't want them as they are cracked or chipped or with pieces missing. And she doesn't exist in it. They are now in the dumpster.
And, unfortunately, I think there will be a person or two I stand back from. You know kind, whether friend or family, they only show up when they want something but don't really give much in return with the exception of a quick thanks and an even quicker goodbye.
I don't have time for that, for those, for them. And neither do you.
Start letting go ... even if it's something as simple as tossing an old Christmas decoration.
I know change cannot be done in a week, a month, even a year sometimes. But change is coming. It's coming.

weirlosingit@gmail.com

Defining It: Inhibitions

When I was younger, and cast my eye on some gold ring, I would start that desire with "When I lose weight."
When I lose weight I'm going to write that book.
When I lose weight I'm going to go to my class reunion.
When I lose weight - all my troubles will be solved, all my dreams will come true, all my hopes will be fulfilled.
When I lose weight. All I've really done is given myself an excuse not to write, travel, solve my own troubles, make my dreams come true and fulfil my dreams.
What exactly am I afraid of? What exactly am I avoiding overeating is a better alternative?
Succeeding. I am afraid to succeed because the opposite of success if failure and I would rather not try at all than fail at something.
This weight loss thing is really hard mentally and I'm serious here. Losing and retooling has been difficult in the sense that I'm having to learn to change and expand my comfort levels.
And I think I've said it before, it's harder losing what I have to lose than it is 5 or ten pounds. The mental toll can be a bit overwhelming. And yes, it would be easy to pull my proverbial covers over my head and just stay where I'm at.
But where is the growth? Where is the satisfaction?
I've only been able to budge 26 pounds off me, but actually have been consistently losing for about 8 or 9 weeks. And with each pound gone, it seems I gain something inside.
I know it sounds insane, but lately I'm more likely than not to stand up for myself, to complete promises made to myself and others, to attempt something I might not have done 26 pounds ago.
I seem to be losing, along with the weight, a certain amount of inhibitions that are allowing me to live differently.
One thing I've always feared about losing weight is that who I am would be redefined and my personality would change.
But you know something? Change really is a good thing!
I encourage you all to step out of your comfort zone in one area and try something new that you have wanted to do, but for one reason or another haven't.
It's different. It's a little exciting even.
I had a baseball player friend in college, who isn't with us anymore, and I was interviewing him for a playoff game. He gave me probably the best comment on his feelings, and it's what I am feeling now, and hopefully what you will feel.
"It's scary...but I like it."

weirlosingit@gmail.com

Gotta go around it!

"Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal." Henry Ford

I wish I could take credit for digging this quote up but I can't. I have a friend who posts inspirational quotes on his facebook page. He got me with this one.

How often has someone not achieved their goal because he or she saw the obstacles?

I am my own worst enemy sometimes. I can be rolling along quite well, thank you, on this overall improvement quest when I will see a stumbling block - could be small like going to a buffet for dinner or large like knowing the enormity of the task that lies ahead - and it suddenly is my undoing.

I know I am not alone.

It's hard to commit to change, to cast off what we've allowed ourselves to become comfortable with - whether it be food or drink or self pity. We really want to change, to be a better person, but we see that roadblock and it delays and even sometimes ends what we really want to do.

We have to learn to be comfortable not in who we are, but in what we can become. We have to learn to leapfrog or go around those obstacles to obtain what we want.

Everyone faces obstacles - real or not - we face them. What we need to do is face them down.