Sisters

Not too long ago there was an email forward about a mother talking to her recently married daughter. The mother looked at her daughter and advised “Don’t forget your sisters.” And she meant all women. When I got that email – I have to tell you, I knew exactly what she meant. You all should meet just a few of my many “sisters.” These are just a few of my many friends who support me, inspire me and touch me.
First, my real sister, Linda. Bound biologically; we are, for the most part, opposites. I’m young – she’s old (she reads this), I’m more interested in sports, she computers; I’m married, she’s divorced. If we had met randomly at work or at school, we would simply have passed one another by, nodded politely and kept going. I am so glad fate and biology brought us together. She keeps me true to myself and she takes care of me. Like only a sister can.
Next, I’d like you to meet Trish. This is my niece, the aforementioned sister’s daughter. She is actually closer in age to me – eight years difference – than my sister – twelve. She was the first baby I had ever been around and she is actually more like me than anyone I know. We devour books, hold English degrees – mine English Communications, hers English Language Arts with a Masters in English Secondary Education, love our family and are firm believers in the importance of an education. I adore this girl; the little girl she was, the woman she is. I am so proud of her.
You would have to meet Sharon – a friend from college. Sounds trite calling her that - a friend – no formality like best friend, good friend. They are all that to me – that is assumed I guess. Sharon and I share a love of music and laughter. She is the one who I can be the most honest with when I am sad or having a rough go of it and I am that for her. But I tell you this – no one can make me laugh like she does and no one laughs harder at my foibles – planned or unplanned. Like our last Alumni Weekend this past fall. I needed a new bra. Apparently everyone in Adrian in my size did too because while I could find sizes smaller and larger, I couldn’t find my size. Except at Dollar General. Suffice to say, do not buy a bra at that store. Every time I stood up to say hi or hug someone, my bra slid up to my neck. And I do not mean in the back. I sat most of the night politely waving to people I hadn’t seen in years. She of course got a good laugh.
Every once in a while you meet someone that is in that category of someone that is more like a biological sister. That would be Margaret. I met her at college too. She was a year ahead of me and had quite a good influence on me. I matured a bit, calmed down, studied. When I talk to her, after long stretches of not talking to her, it’s as if we had just spoken with one another. We have a nice comfortable friendship - like finding your favorite jeans you’d thought long gone in the back of your closet, you put them on and by golly they still fit.
When I moved up here I made a few friends at work but none like my friend Rose. We met while working at Camelot Music. I don’t think she and I knew what to make of each other. Until the day she was describing her bathroom. It was about time for Hallmark to release the Christmas ornaments and she was awaiting the flamingos. Pink of course. She had decorated her bathroom in everglades I guess and wanted about 5 flamingos to hang from every other ring on her shower curtain (it actually looked pretty cool). She looked at three us of standing there telling us and she was downright giddy. Remembering my recent trip to Kmart I looked at her and said “And to think I was excited when I found a toilet brush to match my curtains!” She laughed and a friendship was born. And we have followed that pattern ever since.
Speaking of work friends, I met Ann at Child and Family Services. After grant funding shut down our division, we met weekly at a local coffee shop to talk about writing, different things Alpena could use (a children’s museum), and life in general. She moved forever ago, back to the UP where she and her husband lived once before. I miss her.
Bonnie is my sister in law. My husband’s sister and not someone I was particularly close too till quite recently. We had always gotten along, but we have both been helping my mother in law. My mother in law is not helpless, but like everyone, she needs a little help, and as she gets older, she needs a little more. Bonnie and I are on the same page most times and have an easy friendship. I am, I must say, one of the lucky few who enjoy all my in-laws.
I have more sisters in life and I could fill a book with them and what they have done for me. It’s important, having other women in your life. They show us things within ourselves we sometimes don’t know we have in us – how to love, how to laugh, how to cry and how to grieve. We need them – they need us. It’s how we get by.
If you don’t have at least one sister, find one. You won’t be sorry.
That email I mentioned before ended with the following and it is too good not to pass along:

Time passes. Life happens.
Distance separates. Children grow up.
Jobs come and go. Love waxes and wanes.
Men don't do what they're supposed to do.
Hearts break. Parents die.
Colleagues forget favors. Careers end.
BUT.........
Sisters are there, no matter how much time and how many miles are between you. A girlfriend is never farther away than needing her can reach.
When you have to walk that lonesome valley by yourself, the women in your life will be on the valley's rim, cheering you on, praying for you, pulling for you, intervening on your behalf, and waiting with open arms at the valley's end.
Sometimes, they will even break the rules and walk beside you...Or come in and carry you out.
Girlfriends, daughters, granddaughters, daughters-in- law, sisters, sisters-in-law, Mothers, Grandmothers, aunties, nieces, cousins, and extended family, all bless our life!
The world wouldn't be the same without women, and neither would I. When we began this adventure called womanhood, we had no idea of the incredible joys or sorrows that lay ahead. Nor did we know how much we would need each other.

Have a good week – and call someone you haven’t heard from in a while – sometimes it really is like that pair of jeans!

Yippie!

What a great way to start the New Year!
Let me explain. I am a Weight Watcher. Really. I go to meetings - the whole bit. I had a meeting yesterday - December 30. Yikes. So soon after Christmas? So soon after the parties, the sweets, the buffets? I didn't want to go but, well, I have a relative that goes to the same meeting. I would get a text - "Where were you?" Not a chastising text, mind you. But she supports me. So I went.
"Let's see - you lost 3.5 pounds this week," Said our leader. "So if I subtract this number from your start weight... YOU GET A STAR!!"
Yep, folks. I've lost a bit over 5 pounds in four weeks. It hasn't been easy. And I did have a stomach bug for a day or two. But, wow! Five pounds!
And, even though it is such a small amount, some clothes feel a bit more loose. I feel a bit more energy. I feel a bit more happier. And that was before I knew about the loss.
We got a family gift of a Wii for Christmas. My son and I have done Wii Resort almost every night since Christmas day. It isn't a lot, but it is up for 30 minutes or so.
My next Wii purchase will be Wii Fit. I am so excited because the Fit Board is for people up to 300 pounds. I don't weigh that - but I will offer this - I weigh more than the 250 limit that is on my treadmill.
So all in all, I think my year is off to a positive start!
Have a safe and happy new year! And thanks for you support in 2010.

Out with the old

Wow. What a difference a week makes. Not much of a difference, but a difference nonetheless. You see, I figured while I was cleaning up the clutter in me, I would also clean up the clutter in my home. I have to say, I am embarrassed by the amounts of junk I have allowed to amass over the years. I spent the last 5 days (along with the help of my son and two of his friends) hauling stuff to the dumpster. And I have decided if I ever write weight loss self-help books, the second one is to be titled “Taking it to the Curb” (The first one I haven’t written yet is called “You Can Buy a Thong in 6X but You Really Probably Shouldn’t” But of course, that is another story for another day. I have a friend who thought that was a rude title, that heavy people should be allowed to wear thongs. I replied they can but I would never and I’m not near 6X but felt that a thong would be lost on me – both aesthetically and physically. But, again, a different story, a different day.)
Gone or to be tossed are things I haven’t used, things I don’t think I’ll ever use, things I cannot recognize as anything of use, broken things and parts of things that are separated from the other parts. If I find those other parts later, those will be gone too. I will take some to places in need but you know, I am finding these places less than needy this time of year which is either a good thing or a bad thing. If I cannot pass along my gently used things I will toss them.
So it is with weight loss and healthy eating. I have to kick to the curb – what I am now calling my proverbial dumpster – those foods which like those on my house, are junk, things that I cannot recognize as having any use. A burger and fries are not good fuel. My one-step-away-from-an-IV-drip use of Diet Coke is not good at hydrating me. Gently used me has to be cast away and re awakened as new and improved.
Thank you for reading this. It helps that people are interested, care and are ‘listening’.

Do I fail even if I try?

I will just come out with - I have had a bad couple of weeks.
I know I have to lose weight - for so many reasons. But these last few weeks have been hard. Anyone with me on that?
I'm sure it has to do with stress - I eat when I am stressed and I think I've addressed that. And I mean I eat. I come from a family of addicts - mostly alcohol and tobacco - and I've always patted myself on the back for not 'drinking' and not 'smoking'. Of course all the while I was patting myself with one hand, I was shoveling a Big Mac in my mouth with the other. It is wicked, addiction. And I may touch more on my personal demon of food in a later blog.
But currently, I have circled my proverbial wagons. In large part due to people who aren't me who care about people who are me.
I have a great friend - Rose - who gave me on my birthday something called Get Your Skinny which is NOT a meal replacement but a vitamin packed powder that you mix with water and make a pudding that you can use at snack time. My health care provider was impressed with what it did and didn't have and gave me the go ahead to use it. She (Rose) also gave me something called Personal Trainer in a Box which are cards you can use - with instruction - to exercise either at home or at the gym.
My sister in law talked me into going to Weight Watchers again. So I did sign up. I have had success with that in the past. There is a new improved plan I understand.
And - I have another group of friends that exercise at another's house three times a week and I was invited there.
In short - I have no more excuses not to saddle up again. It's all very hard and I know you all know it's very hard. We all fall on this road of better eating. We all would prefer the french fries to the baked potato, the apple pie to the apple. The stuffing to the turkey.
But - stick with me - we can get through this.

In the Winter of my Life?

I don't think so.
By the time you read this, I will have turned 50. And you know, it isn't such a big deal.
I know, I know. I am over the proverbial hill. So, I do, without much doubt, probably have more years behind me than ahead. But the years behind? I can only remember a few, but were they memorable.
Like four. Who doesn't remember four? I was in Kindergarten (an early starter) and I will tell you, it was nothing like today's Kindergarten. All I had to do was nap, play nice, share and eat my snack. The only lessons? Well, there was math. I was allowed only one cookie but if I brought cookies and there were 15 in the class and the pack had 25 cookies, 10 were going home. There was reading. We didn't so much read as we looked at this massive picture book and decided what Dick and Jane were doing. And there was recess. Now, I have to give credit to recess. In that little time frame, a person learns time management, sharing and delegation.
I also remember seven. Seven was the year my older brother joined the Army. He really never moved home again and I must say, I was devastated. While I would do four again, I don't think I would do seven again.
I would however take another stab at 7 going on 8. In August of that year (1968) my parents thought it would be fun to pack my other brother and I up and take us to New Mexico. We went via Florida and across Texas. We went home up through Colorado. In no particular order, I saw caves, a tarantula, a bald eagle, buffalo freely roaming, NASA, the Alamo, the aftermath of a hurricane, a scorpion and stars so big and huge, I was sure I could touch them. And we went to the World's Fair.
Also in 1968? My beautiful niece was born. What a firecracker she was and still is.
Sixteen was pretty memorable. I got my license... followed by losing my insurance because of an accident...or two. Sigh. On the flip side, I did go to New York that year with my high school band. And another trip my senior year to march in DC.
College was a fantastic time for me, after I got used to it. I was able to reach so much more than I ever dreamed possible. And I found out I was a bit smarter than my high school grades indicated as I missed Dean's List by the breadth of the required GPA.
And 49? I cannot tell you what my sister gave me at 49. A girls week involving a bridge, some elk and the great north. Thank you.
Married now, with three wonderful kids and 5 fantastic grand kids, why, indeed would I begrudge 50? I have done more in my first well, 8 years than most do in a lifetime. I have a full life behind me and I anticipate likewise ahead.
You cannot look at age as a reflection of who you are or what you can or cannot do. Age really is just a number and I have had, looking back, an amazing life of opportunities and 50 allows me to see that.
No - 50 is not a period on the story of my life, it is but a comma.

It's-all-about-food season!

It is that time of year. We have fallen back on the clock, frost is patched on our lawns and windshields, smoke from chimneys trickle upward. Apples dot the ground. It really is beautiful.

And we start in now with all the smells, sights and tastes that remind us of childhood perhaps, or college. Or some first - whether it be a Barbie, a kiss or baby. It's all about getting back to familiar and this time of year is really hard for me motivation and healthy eating wise. I am very happy wrapped in a blanket with a big mug of some cream based or cheese based soup watching a movie. Not moving.

I think I am going to have to get creative this year. I promised my son a more festive Christmas. I can't be eating if I'm decorating and I am thinking that if housework can be considered exercise, so can getting into the holiday spirit.

I don't much like outdoor activities in the winter - the cold hurts at my age. But I do have equipment at home.

And the soups? I think I can adjust them. A few years ago I knocked down the calorie and fat count of cheeseburger soup by going fat free and low fat with much of the ingredients and I couldn't tell a difference.

But starting with Thanksgiving and coasting through New Year's Day, I think I am going to have to do some serious work. I am trying to be hopeful. And I am hopeful for you too. I think we can do it!

New Shoes!

Walking just got a whole lot better. Wait. Before I tell you that, I have to tell you a story. We were, until today, a one paycheck family. (I started a new job today, but that isn't the story!) I am sure most of you know, one paycheck doesn't go far.
I had intended to buy a pair of shoes and join Weight Watchers this week. I am doing OK with the dieting save for a piece of birthday cake for my son's birthday and an occasional chip. But, because I have so much to loose, I am afraid I will get frustrated down the road. I had also planned to buy new shoes for walking. Up till three days ago, my shoes were the average white tennis shoes. Not conducive to walking.
But, as fate and bills and birthdays will have it, there wasn't enough to do either one. Sigh. Enter a bit of luck
I entered a contest that is a weekly thing on our local radio station. If you find the entry blank on the website, you can enter and maybe, just maybe, you will win a 100.00 mall wide gift certificate.
Well, I won!!! The day I entered!!!
So, it was with great joy - no kidding - great joy - that I bought a pair of LA Gear Walk and Tone shoes. My feet love me now. I am currently walking a mile, but with these shoes, plan to up that in the next week or so.
I am not an expert on exercise or that sort of thing but I will tell you this - a loaded ipod and a good pair of walking shoes will make all the difference to you!
Thanks for staying with me!